I Like Big Buttes #WhyDoesThatAnusHaveSoManyTeeth - January 27, 2023

 - As they are camping again for the evening, Rusty receives from Theophania, "Sorry, had to tweak Sender Stick. Tina closed portal. Lady Blackmore gone, hopefully. Should be able to keep in touch now. Any news? Miss you!"

 - He turns to Sunny and says thereby Sending back, "Sunny, you're Raiàn's cousin? Yes, I thought we had talked about this. Killing bugs with Raiàn's cousin. Glad to hear things are okay for now..." Will be making my way back soon <-- Doesn't get Sent.

- Osiris Sends, "Rusty, when someone Sends to you, the first 25 words you say after it gets returned, so maybe be concise and don't talk to others." 

- He returns to Osiris, "Well, how am I supposed to ask them if they're their cousin without Sending that back? Anyway, killing bugs. Will head back soon."

- Theophania Sends, "Raiàn says her granddad rules the place, so he can pay someone to send you back. Seems unlikely to me, but that's what they said."

- Rusty responds, "Well, I'm sure convincing them to be grateful for getting rid of the bugs will be easier than hiking back. Wait, Sunny your granddad's the..."

- Discussion is had about Sunny being the "spare" to the crown and whether or not the family could get Rusty back to Mistverge faster than the six months it would take him to walk back.

- A long rest is had, but during second watch, Lephith sees a bluish beam of light come down from the sky off over there and then after a minute it disappears. Then another one appears as well.

- It's mostly the direction they've been heading, but it's slightly farther north than they've been walking.

- Lephith pokes Renalla who pokes Rusty

- Rusty casts Commune with Nature (ritual!) and he sees a spirit of a minotaur approaches him, so he asks

       - When I was returned to this plane I was sent to this desert specifically. Is this where I am from?

              - Many of your kind once roamed these lands.

       - What where those beams of light that we just saw (pointing in that direction)?

              - Creatures arrive from the Infernal plane.

       - How do we stop that?

              - Shrug

       - How far away are they?

              - Four hours walk will take you near

- Rusty comes to to see Lephith about to bonk him in the head with a shovel.

- The next morning, information is shared and they head towards the origin of the big flashy lights.

-  After four hours of walking, they see rising in front of them a mesa (bigger than a butte but smaller than a plateau) that's maybe 50-60' tall. No visible cave entrances or burned ground from the light.

- Rusty thinks he sees some movement on the top

- They continue to the base of the mesa, they hear chittering and when they look up they see a group of the bug things fly away from the tops of the mesa.

- Renalla shouts at them in Infernal, but they don't notice her.

- Renalla then turns into a Giant Vulture (skeleton) and does a quick fly over and sees some kind of hole or pit or sinkhole thing in the center of the mesa and around the perimeter of the hole are quadrupedal bug(?) creatures around the perimeter roaming around.

- She scouts a place to land people where they can hide while she is one-by-one transporting people up the side of the mesa, and then she does this thing.

- There's a quick game of giant skele-vulture charades to explain what she saw.

- They start heading towards the big hole, and while they are deciding whether or not to bother being stealthy, they see one of the four-legged things, about the size of a black bear with reddish skin covered in armor plates and where its face would be looks like a lamprey's mouth (like an anus but with teeth all the way around). It's not-face seems to be looking directly at the group.

- Renalla lands and then walks behind some scrubby bushes then gestures to all the others to do the same. Sunny does so.

- Lephith slides Kip off their shoulder and puts them behind them where they immediately peek around their massive trunk of a thigh.

- Rusty starts walking towards it, and it lets out a sort of hoot or howl thing and other creatures start heading this direction.

Infernal Ambush - January 20, 2023

 - Near the end of first watch (Renalla staring at Rusty and asking him random questions here and there and Rusty staring at Renalla with Sunny actually doing a good job keeping watch), Sunny hears a soft bang like something fell over near the edge of camp where most people had stacked their gear.

- Sunny quietly tiptoes over to where she heard the noise and one of the bags in the stack has an animal's back half sticking out of it as the animal is scrounging around in their supplies

- They dart in grab the creature and the bag goes flying and it's a scrawny-looking cat thing (dwarf tabaxi, Kip-sized) which then says "Hey, lemmee go! Lemmee go! Reowr!" Sunny starts petting it, but it doesn't stop trying to scrabble its way out of their arms 

- Renalla comes over and starts trying to talk to the cat and turns into a cat type skeleton and they have a conversation about how this creature is a scavenger who sells stuff with Sunny scritching it the entire time

- He shows the party his bag full of trash and then says the bug things took his friend Rico.

- He tells them Rico was taken slightly north of west.

- His name is Maxidor.

- Renalla buys a feather (hawk?) off of him which she sticks in her floaty hair.

- Renalla points him in the direction of the caravan they didn't manage to save so he can get some food from it

- Rusty hears in his head in Theophania's voice, "Testing? Rusty can you hear me? You’re possibly in the desert west of the Hopeless Highlands. Raiàn’s people are there. Long journey home on foot."

- He responds, "Am in desert. May recognize mountains. Weird spooky bugs. Have found trustyworthy-ish companions. Some dragonborns. Will ask about Raiàn. Still good so far?"

- First thing in the morning, Rusty answers Renalla's questions rapid fire with no regard to the questions, "Define awake? Sure, if it makes you happy. Yeah. In the morning. I get that a lot."

- Renalla is somewhat confused by this. "What do you mean, if it makes me happy?" Explanations are provided.

- Rusty then immediately asks Renalla about the "whole skeleton thing" and the answer is that she died. She does not know anything about the undead invasion in Mistverge.

- Rusty brings up Raiàn over breakfast. Sunny explains about her cousin.

- They head off into the desert and find a rocky curvy path to follow.

- After about a half a day of walking they find the remains of another caravan. It looks like the stuff was just ripped apart and spread around on the ground. There are cracked open barrels and smashed crates all around.

- Renalla sniffs one of the barrels and determines that it used to hold a really nice wine.

- The remains of the cargo seems like it was maybe slightly nicer than the things the caravan whose attack they witnessed.

- As they are investigating a chittering sound starts in the rocks around them and everyone pulls weapons and then half the people realize that it's words in Infernal, "Yesss, new meat." Then four bug creatures descend upon the group.

RUINED CARAVAN BATTLE

- Sunny speaks to the bugs in Infernal saying that they don't want to have to kill them, but the bug things ignore her. She then moves a little to the west and then breaths lightning on one Trident Bug (TB1) and one Claw Bug (CB1) for 11 (5) lightning dmg and then she throws a dagger at TB1 for 10 (5) piercing dmg. Then she moves forward to TB1 and punches it for 8 bludgeoning dmg then again for 5 bludgeoning dmg.

- TB1 pokes Sunny with its trident for 7 piercing dmg then misses with its claws

- Renalla Druidshapes into a skeletal scorpion (yesm we know they have exoskeletons instead of bones, but deal with it), skitters over to TB2 and CB2, her claws miss TB2 and then she claws and grapples CB2 and stabs it with her stinger

- CB1 skitters on its tripod legs starts running towards the southeast a bit then runs through the middle of Rusty, Lephith, and Kip, but Lephith and Kip dodge the whirling dervish arms. Rusty takes all 15 dmg

- Lephith runs over to help Kip flanking the CB1 with them then summons her corporeal shadow next to Kip then slices into CB1 for 8 slashing and 1 radiant dmg then again for another 8 and 6 radiant slashing dmg

- TB2 misses Renalla scorpion with the trident and then claws her for 14 slashing dmg

- Rusty Rages, runs over to flank TB1 with Sunny and then he misses twice

- CB2 claws Renalla scorpion for 16 slashing dmg and then again for 14 slashing dmg

- Kip casts Sacred Flame on CB1 for 13 radiant dmg

- Sunny punches TB1 four times for a total of XX bludgeoning dmg and then it is Stunned

- TB1 is Stunned and tells Sunny, "F-F-Fuck yyyou."

- Renalla rotates around CB2 moving away from TB2 who tridents her for 7 piercing dmg then she claws CB2 for 10 slashing and 1 cold dmg and its movement is 0 and has DisAdv on Str and Dex checks then misses with her stinger

- CB1 teleports away to the northeast

- Lephith sends her Shadows after TB2 runs towards it herself then Dashes to it and slices into it for 10 slashing and 4 radiant dmg then again for 11 slashing and 4 radiant dmg

- TB2 tridents Lephith for 12 piercing then claws them for 9 slashing dmg

- Rusty slices into TB1 for 32 (16) slashing dmg then again for so much TB1 is cleaved in half then he runs over to CB1 and misses it

- CB2 misses scorpion-Renalla then claws her for 13 slashing dmg and she is just Renalla again. 

- Kip casts Catapult (2nd level) hitting TB2 for 27 bludgeoning dmg

- Sunny runs over to flank CB1 and then punches it 

- Renalla casts Tidal Wave on CB2 and TB2 for some damage and TB2 is knocked prone

- CB1 misses Rusty then claws him for 8 (4) slashing dmg

- Lephith slices the head off of TB2 and then moves to flank CB2 with Renalla and slices into it for 7 radiant dmg and her sword heals her for 9 dmg

- Rusty slices into CB1 for 10 (5) slashing dmg and then again for 23 (12) slashing dmg and then again for 15 (7) slashing dmg

- CB2 teleports out of flanking to the southwest

- Kip casts Chaos bolt CB1 for 8 psychic dmg then they move a little closer to Renalla and Lephith

- Sunny punches CB1 for 6 bludgeoning dmg and again for 6 bludgeoning dmg and then again for 6 bludgeoning dmg and then again for DEATH!

- Renalla runs towards CB2 and then uses Frostbite on it which misses then she casts Grasping Vine and it is pulled 20' towards Lephith

- Lephith and her shadow runs over to CB2 and tackles it then asks Renalla if she wants Lephith to "make it talk"

- Rusty runs and Dashes towards CB2 and his Rage fades

- CB2 teleports to the northwest (Lephith, "Tiamat's Rainbow Tits!")

- Kip Catapults again for 20 bludgeoning dmg 

- Sunny punches CB2 twice and then says she will kill it if he doesn't answer their questions and it just says "We will kill all of you" so she punches it twice more and says something about how it has to die then and it just responds "We are strong and all will fall."

- Renalla asks it, "Why do you want to kill us all?" Then she moves towards CB2 and then casts Thorn Whip for 10 piercing dmg and is pulled 10' towards her.

- Lephith moves herself and her shadow towards CB2 then Dashes around to its back and they shout to Rusty, "Metal Man, kill it!"

- Rusty moves in to flank with Lephith then misses ("I'm disappointed in you, Metal Man.) and then he slices into it for 6 (3) slashing dmg

- CB2 screams "Your flesh will build out empire!" then it whirling dervish attacks Lephith, Rusty, and Renalla and they all take 25 slashing dmg but Lephith manages to swing at it for 11 slashing and 5 radiant dmg and she kills it!

END OF BATTLE

- While poking around in the cart remains, Renalla finds a pouch containing 50 GP which proves the bug things didn't give a shit about money, but it does seem like most of the other raw materials have been taken.

- Sunny figures that this ambush was opportunist and not about them specifically.

- Renalla figures that the wreckage happened about a week ago while she's passing 10 GP to each of her companions.

- The group has a brief rest before following the trail farther for a few more hours

Why is that Metal Talking #KipUp - January 6, 2023

 HAPPY NEW YEAR!

- The Trevek mission party has been traveling north for about three days from Runespoke in the direction of Pradak

- Rusty finds himself in a deep valley between a bunch of sand dunes. It is midafternoon and it's very warm out. He is not grappled and no in the Shadow Realm.

- Rusty climbs to the top of the nearest sand dune and he sees off to the east there may be something moving

- To the south he can see the barest glimpse of some mountains, but they are hazy and indistinct

- Rusty begin moving towards the east and the movement that he can see

- He walks for several hours

- The Trevek mission party can also see something moving to the north of them traveling towards them. It seems to be large enough to be a group traveling either by foot or with wagons

- Rusty comes up over a rise and he can see a caravan but also another group of travelers moving towards the caravan. He also hears a loud buzzing sound coming from behind him.

- Rusty turns around and sees large insect looking creatures. They are black, have two legs, four arms, and are universally carrying trident spears

- The insects basically buzz him and fly straight towards the caravan.

- Rusty runs after the bugs.

- The insect creatures land around the caravan and immediately begin attacking and grabbing valuables

- A noxious green cloud immediately envelops the area around the caravan

 

BATTLE TO PROTECT THE CARAVAN

- Renalla lowers her hood and you see a blue tiefling with horns that curl backwards. She shouts "Hey, cut it out!" The bugs pay no heed, so she whistles and over the sand dune the spirit of a red dragon flies in out of nowhere over to her side and then she moves off to the left

- The Red Spirit Dragon (RSD) he does a fly-over breathing fire on two of the Insect Creatures (IC5 and IC2) 11 fire dmg to IC5 and 5 to IC2

- IC1 flies over to Renalla and pokes her with the trident but misses then claws her for 8 slashing dmg'

- Lephith runs straight up to the closest bug (IC5) straight into the noxious cloud taking 11 poison dmg then her Shadow keeps going and coalesces into another being behind it flanking it with her and she attacks it for 6 slashing and 5 radiant dmg and then slices it again for 6 slashing and 1 radiant dmg then the Shadow attacks for 12 slashing and 6 radiant dmg and then she slices it again for 10 slashing and 5 radiant dmg and then one last time for 7 slashing and 3 radiant dmg (61 dmg!)

- IC2 moves to flank Renalla and stabs her for 5 piercing dmg with its trident and then claws her for 10 slashing dmg

- Kip casts Chaos Bolt (Level 3) at IC5, but it misses 

- IC3 moves up to Sunny stabs Sunny with a trident for 12 piercing dmg then claws her for 9 slashing dmg

- Sunny runs over to flank IC2 with Renalla, but IC3 stabs her for 13 piercing dmg as she leaves, then she breathes a line of lightning through IC2, Renalla, IC1, and IC5 for 3 lightning dmg then she stabs IC2 for 5 piercing dmg then she punches it for 6 bludgeoning dmg then she punches it again for 8 bludgeoning dmg (ICs resist lightning)

- IC4 flies up 20' and misses the RSD with the trident then misses with its claws also

- Rusty moves up to IC2, Rages, and misses with his first attack then slices into IC2 with his great axe for 11 slashing dmg

- IC5 teleports 40' SW out of being flanked and chitters angrily

 

- Renalla casts Frostbite on IC1 for 7 cold dmg (resisted) and it has DisAdv on the next weapon Attack roll it makes

- RSD misses IC4 with its claws twice

- IC1 misses Renalla with its trident then claws her for 9 slashing dmg

- Lephith moves to protect Kip and moves her Shadows with her then she slices into IC3 for 20 total dmg then gets a really good hit for 31 total dmg then she slices into it with her non-magical off-hand longsword for 3 slashing dmg

- IC2 teleports 40' to the NW out of flank and chitters angrily

- Kip casts Chaos Bolt (2nd level) on IC3 for 5 cold dmg

- IC3 teleports 40' to the SW out of being flanked and chitters angrily

- Sunny moves and Step of the Wind bonus actions over to IC5 breaths acid on it and IC3 for nothing (immune) and then she misses punching it just barely

- IC4 moves away from RSD taking 14 piercing dmg from a bite attack as it does so then casts Darkness in a 15' radius from it's new location near Rusty and Renalla

- Rusty runs out of the Darkness and then uses the rest of his movement to move to IC2 and swings his axe into it for 35 (17) slashing dmg then misses on his second attack then swings again hitting it for 30 (15) slashing dmg

- IC5 stabs Sunny for 5 piercing dmg and then misses with its claws

- Renalla casts Dispel Magic on the Darkness and it dissipates the Darkness and then whistles for her RSD

- RSD moves to flank IC1 with Renalla and then claws it for 14 slashing dmg two times! then is shouts at the bugs in Draconic "Get out!"

- IC1 teleports 40' SW away from being flanked and chitters angrily

- Lephith moves to flank IC3 with her Shadow who moves with her then attacks it for 14 total dmg then she misses but it dodges straight into the sword of her shadow who lops off the two left arms and black ichor squirts out for a second before it all poofs into non-existence like it never happened

- IC2 stabs Rusty for 7 piercing dmg and then claws him for 7 slashing dmg

- Kip moves slightly west and then casts Chaos Bolt at IC4 for 30 thunder dmg

- Sunny misses a punch, misses a second punch, then she gets it for 7 bludgeoning and it dissipates into nothing

- IC4 moves closer to Renalla and misses with the trident then claws her for 7 slashing dmg

- Rusty slices into IC2 for 12 slashing dmg and then again for 10 slashing dmg and it dissipates into nothing

- Renalla side steps along IC4 and casts Tidal Wave at it, but it withstands the force of it, but takes 8 bludgeoning dmg

- RSD runs around IC4 feinting and then striking well for 15 piercing dmg and then clawing again for 11 piercing dmg throwing it into the air where it dissipates into non-existent smoke

- IC1 moves up to Kip and stabs them for 12 piercing then misses her with its claws

- Lephith moves towards IC1 then Dashes up to IC1 and then re-summons her Shadow also next to IC1 flanking with Kip

- Kip casts Chaos Bolt at IC1 for 14 psychic dmg

- Sunny moves to flank IC1 with Lephith punches IC1 for 9 bludgeoning dmg, then punches it but good for 9 bludgeoning, then punches it again for 6 bludgeoning, and then punches it one last time for 5 bludgeoning and it splats into nothingness 

END OF BATTLE

- The poisonous cloud around the caravan dissipates, but everyone in it and all the pack animals are dead 

- The RSD fucks off

- Lephith picks Kip up and put them on their shoulder saying "Kip up" as they do so. 

- Rusty comes over and much conversation is had 

- The caravan is hauling mostly food and other trade goods like textiles

- Lephith puts Kip on the driver seat of the first caravan, takes away the dead people, and unhooks the horses and tries to pull the cart, which she can but it's hard and slow

- Kip takes the reins (still attached to the horses) and goes a little crazy, it does nothing.

- Rusty tells his story

- They gather some supplies from the caravan then head west (where the bugs came from) for a little while then make camp for the night